Friday, April 16, 2010

The Best of the Worst

Ummm, that would be me. Yes, I wonned a contesty wot Baby Patches over at Nip and Bones woz hasing in honor of hers second birfday. You had to write about somefing terribul wot you had did to enter, so I, ummmm sang like a burd and tolded all, but little did I knows I woz going to win for being the most terribullest!

I mean I did my share of noggty things when I was a yungun. I eated 3 pair of mom's $300 eyeballglasses in two months, I eated about 12 remote controls, I nommed a hole in the loveseat, the usual stuffs. But I suppose this was the noggtiest of noggty. Is you reddy?

Here woz my entry:
This mite gross you out so I has to gib you that disklamer up front. Several years ago we had a cockatiel named Lola. Lola woz very, very old, 25 years old. Cockatiels only live around 15 years and she woz the oldest the avian vet had ever seened when mom had taken her in a few days afore when Lola woz not doing well. The vet could find nuttin rong, just sayed Lola be very old. For 25 years mom always lefted her cage door open and even the kittehs learned Lola woz fambly and woz not for nomming and nobody bothered Lola. Well, wif being old and going downhill fast that week, Lola falled out of hers cage on to the floor and woz either ded or in a coma. I could not just let her lay there so I picked her up in my mouf and taked her up on mom’s bed wif me. Then I got to thinking Lola alreddy be ded (or close enuff), why let a good burd go to waste? I tried to cover up the evidence wif a blankie but when Mom commed home from the store and moved the blankie she founded fevvers all over her bed. It woz all that woz left of Lola. There woz no way she could has knowed it woz me. After all it could has been one of my sisses, rite? Cept for I woz sitting in the corner of the room wif a fevver stucked on my nose.
So you can imagine I woz in all kinds of trubbuls wif mom over this. She woz very upset wif me and did not talk to me for two whole weeks. I mean, she knowed Lola woz dying but she apparently did not approve of her leaving, um, my way. But like BusyButtons sayed, I woz afraid mom would has been even more upset to come home and find Lola ded so I hided her body from mom. Yeah, that's it.

So on that note, hop on over to Baby Patches' bloggie to read the terribull stories of all of the winners. BOL, they is rilly, rilly bad, BOL!


  1. Congrats, Shawnee! Your story WAS terrible... ;)

  2. of all ma bullions of bad fings i did postin on herz bloggy i must sez urs iz really da best of da worstest MOL

  3. Wow Shawnee! Thanks for making ANYTHING I do not look so bad!!

    I know it's not supposed to be funny, but I laughed hard at that story, I guess moreso of the thought of you in the corner with a feather on your nose!! BOL!!

  4. really were just looking out for your mom! *snickers*

    Congratulations on winning! Are you gonna buy TOOOYS from Nip and Bones with that prize money? TOYS! I highly recommend buying more toys.

  5. hahahahahahaha!! Oh dear my friend... I'd like to say well done...

  6. I'm sure she was already dead. You just recycled her!

  7. Oh my gosh - dat was both sad and funny. She probably was already dead and you were just being a doggie. That story definately deserved 1st prize.

  8. It was almost like a Monty Python skhetch ;-)


  9. We read the terrible winning stories recently and yours was definitely one of them! Your poor mom must have been in shock.

  10. I is sures you is very sory about Lola but it did wins you a prize package from our store! MOL

    I agrees wif Busy Buttons!